Asking for Help: An Act of Agency
When we talk about agency, we often focus on individual efforts—students making bold decisions, leading projects, or solving problems on their own. While individual agency is important, co-agency—an acknowledgment and embrace of the reciprocal impact our actions have on one another—is equally essential. In a collaborative world, agency is not just about what you can do alone but what you can achieve with the help of others.
Asking for help is one of the most powerful acts of co-agency. It acknowledges that growth is a shared journey, and knowing when and how to ask for help is a critical skill in building connections and achieving common goals.
Reframing Independence: Co-Agency through Collaboration
Schools have traditionally celebrated independence as the ideal, suggesting that true success is achieved alone. But this view often overlooks the value of collaboration. Co-agency, in contrast, is about knowing when to reach out—both to ask for help and to offer it.
Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset research shows that students who embrace challenges and see them as growth opportunities are more likely to seek help, recognizing that success is shared. Similarly, Vygotsky’s Zone of Proximal Development emphasizes that learning is most effective with the support of another who can help you move beyond what you could achieve on your own.
When students ask for help, they engage in a collective learning process that builds resilience and strengthens classroom connections. As Charlie Mackesy puts it, “Asking for help isn't giving up; it's refusing to give up.” In a classroom, help-seeking allows everyone to move forward together, supporting each other rather than struggling alone.
Strategies for Building a Classroom Culture of Help-Seeking
How can educators create a classroom environment where co-agency is the norm and help-seeking is seen as a collective strength? Here are three strategies to foster a culture of co-agency through help-seeking:
Normalize Help-Seeking as a Shared Practice
Create classroom routines where help-seeking is expected and encouraged as part of the learning process. For example, during morning meetings, ask students daily, "Who needs help today, and who can offer it?" This shifts the focus from individual challenges to collective problem-solving, allowing students to identify their needs and empowering their peers to step in and offer support.Model Help-Seeking by Sharing Your Own Challenges
Demonstrate co-agency by showing students that you, too, need help at times. When you face a challenge or uncertainty, share it with the class and ask for their input. Let them see that help-seeking is something everyone—including teachers—can benefit from. This helps build trust and reinforces the idea that the classroom is a space for shared learning and growth.Create a Peer-Support Network
Every student has strengths that they can offer to others. Create a system where students can easily access peer support by establishing classroom experts or help teams. These are students with specific skills who are available to help their classmates. Publicly display the list of experts and explicitly teach students how to approach each other for help.
The Long-Term Benefits of Help-Seeking
Teaching students to ask for help equips them with lifelong skills that extend beyond academics. In a world where collaboration is key to success, students who understand the power of co-agency—who know how to give and receive help—will be better prepared for future personal and professional challenges.
Research on social-emotional learning (SEL) and self-regulated learning (SRL) shows that students who regularly engage in help-seeking become more effective collaborators and problem-solvers. They develop the ability to work within teams, communicate their needs, and contribute to the success of a group.
By framing help-seeking as an act of co-agency, we empower students to take ownership of their learning, while also recognizing the importance of collective growth. Help-seeking is not just a personal strategy for success—it is a powerful tool for building a collaborative, supportive community where individuals feel empowered and everyone thrives.
References
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House.
Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in Society: The Development of Higher Psychological Processes. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL). (2020). SEL Framework. CASEL. Available at casel.org
Zimmerman, B. J. (2002). Becoming a Self-Regulated Learner: An Overview. Theory Into Practice, 41(2), 64-70.
Mackesy, C. (2019). The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse. HarperOne.
